“How do I stop the headaches without firing my people?”

You own the business and so all the problems that can’t be solved by others end up in front of you.  You have someone who handles personnel matters, but that means the transactional side of HR.  The personal issues, interpersonal conflict, lack of performance, all of the soft, squishy (but really difficult) stuff comes to you.  And you wish you could make it go away without needing to fire someone.  Maybe you can…

When you are dealing with recurring people problems, the first thing to do is to get some perspective.  When you are frustrated or emotions are high, you aren’t going to be happy with the outcome most of the time.  Here’s something that really works (it usually works best if you do this in private, so get some space for a second and do this):  breath out and empty your lungs.  Take a deep breath as you count to five, then slowly release it.  As you do, release the tension and heightened emotion too.  Repeat two more times.  It sounds so easy, but it really does shift you physically, mentally and emotionally.

Next, do not avoid the problem.  Instead, face it head-on.  But don’t be too quick to “solve” it.  Have you identified the real problem?  Nineteen out of twenty times, it’s not the problem that it appears to be on the surface.  To get at the root of the problem, you have to ask questions and really listen to the answers. 

• “How long has this been going on?”
• “What is the cost of the problem?” (think of costs broadly)
• “What, if anything, have we done to address it?”
• “What is the real source of the problem?”
• “What would happen if the problem went away?” (do not dismiss this question)

Third, are you trying to fix something that really belongs to someone else?  Owners and bosses often assume responsibility for things that rightfully belong to others.  It’s one of the hazards of the job.  It also disempowers your people.  What if your people were charged with finding and solving the real source of the problem, and they knew for sure you were not going to “bail them out” again?  How would that change things?  Are you willing to give it an honest try? 

Share your comments and experience-we can all learn together.